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He did feel a bit guilty, springing this on so suddenly. Even he couldn’t deny that such a choice would be hard to make and he had said nothing about giving her time to think it over. He could see how it looked like he was demanding an answer from her, and in a way he was. He desired for things that weren’t yet there and he feared if he walked away from her now that they would never be. It would be far to easy for her to disappear again. He listened as she spoke about those she had given up on: Ixora, Rin, Andromache. And names he didn’t know. And she said he was asking her to give up on them. “I’m not asking -” he started to speak but cut himself off as she continued. “I’d just be running away again, leaving my problems behind.” He watched her, silent now and not finishing his earlier words. This was the heart of it. He was asking her to choose between herself and everyone else… or at least, that must have been how it seemed to Enya. His heart sank as he stood quietly, letting her continue to talk about her past. It sank for the pain he felt he caused her. It sank for the disappointment and the feeling of failure she had gone through. But she wasn’t a failure. Not to him. She had caused pain. She had overcame pain. And he had found her again. Those things were not failures. He wasn’t going to let her be a failure. “ I’ve had happiness. I don’t know if I deserve more.“ His brow furrowed at the words and a concerned anger rose in him. She was asking him if she deserved happiness. She was saying that choosing a life here meant that she was somehow unworth of happiness. “You’re not leaving them behind, Enya,” he said his voice a bit stern. “I’m not asking you to give up. I’m asking you to stay.” He put emphasis on the last word and then took a calming breath, relaxing his face and his voice before he continued. “This isn’t giving up.” He repeated the sentence, as though saying it out loud again would make her see what it was he truly wanted for her. “I’m asking you to make a place where we can all come home to. All of us. Everyone who is still out there… Ridley… Buck… and anyone else your heart still searches for.“ His eyes searched her face, hoping to discern any change, any hint there about how she was feeling. He wondered who else there was. She had said many names: those he knew; and those he didn’t. But he didn’t care who they were anymore. He would take them all if it meant they could claim their happiness once more. “I will make a home for them. For us. If you want to live up to your name, set your foot upon the ground - “ he extended his leg, slamming his paw on the ground as he spoke. “A fault is a place where the ground separates, and where it comes together anew. It is where mountains form and trees tremble. Let us make a place where we can reunite those who have strayed. So when you finally find those you are searching for, they won’t have to wander anymore. They’ll have a home.” His words grew impassioned as he pressed his paw harder into the dirt in front of him. His posture straightened and his ears turned forward. Eyes gleamed as he searched her form again. Please. His mind screamed. Please. There had to be more for them. There had to be more than running away and feeling like they didn’t deserve the future. They had come through too much to simply float along in hopelessness. “All I’m asking is for you to stay. We can do this. Together.” |
A Small Flame Burns a Bright Candle